The Crab is a Spy!

Observe here the rare and endangered spycrab. You may have seen the spycrab in your favorite Team Fortress 2 server. They are elusive creatures, but from time to time they will appear in packs.

Of course the spycrab isn't your average TF2 player; there's something special about someone who goes into a server and dedicates most of their play time to crab walking among their team mates, much like people who play Rose Ball in their time off.

Spycrabbing is really just a delightful offshoot of TF2 for players who have too much time on their hands or want to spend their round in a whimsical manner, oftentimes to the chagrin of their fellow team mates, and the delight of the opposing players. A spycrab can be a free kill, a wasted player slot, and so much more.

Like many things in life, there's a specific etiquette to crab walking. First, select the spy class, they don't call them spy crabs for nothing. Second, select your cigarette case, but do not select a class to disguise as, merely hold it in front of you. Third, crouch down and look directly upwards. Fourth, move back and forth slowly, walking side to side. Make sure you prepare yourself and then begin crab walking in a highly populated area.

The idea here to be seen by as many people as possible. Are you playing Goldrush or another payload style map? See if the other team will let you live as a spycrab in their area after the cart has moved forward enough to leave a distance between their spawn and the action around the cart. Are you playing on a control point map? Do the same, but stick to a specific point. If you're near the action, the other teams soldiers, demo men, and heavies will be firing in your general direction and probably won't concern themselves with the loss of a spycrab.

In a way, crab walking is like taking a survey. How many players will take your actions in a light hearted manner? How many will walk past you, maybe laugh, watch for a while, and continue about their game? How many players will take your actions derisively and decree you a wasted member of the team? How many will kill you everytime you make it all the way over to your spawn for fear that you'll come after them and backstab them?

Hopefully you'll be able to find other spy crabs and continue the species long into the life span of Team Fortress 2.

I'm including this video, but I warn you to turn the volume off before you watch: